LuLaRoe Diaries: THE Turdma

I know you guys have lost sleep waiting on this blog post. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a giant smile on my face while writing this… It’s just that this Irma, excuse me, Turdma, is EVERYTHING.

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Here’s a little background. The first time I saw this gem, I was scrolling my Facebook news feed….It was flooded with LuLaRoe posts, per usual, and I was “browsing” while I waited for the Real Housewives to start. Then suddenly, it appeared. In all of its blue and brown glory. The Turdma. I didn’t know it was a Turdma when I saw it. My first thought was “OMG. This Irma has my favorite Emoji all over it!”.   I realized it was in fact PINE CONES (for real. It’s pine cones!) but it still held my interest. I read through the comments which is when I realized IT had a name. The Turdma.

I’ve been on the hunt for this polyester/spandex “unicorn” precisely 4 weeks. Would you believe NOT ONE Consultant had my size? Not one. Was it so popular that it was sold out everywhere??

The search continued… that was until last week when I posted the biggest ISO of all time. I ended my blog post with “P.S. if you are a consultant and you have an XXS Turdma, hit me up!”. Guess what… I got my Unicorn.

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#dontbeturdyforthepurdy

Now, I know what you are probably thinking. Jackie has lost her ever-loving mind. She drank one too many glasses of wine and has officially gone of the deep end. But I’m here to tell you that you are wrong.

For starters, I am 31 years old, gave birth to two children (one birth ended looking very similar to this Irma), and don’t have time to worry about what other people think. I really don’t. Harper just stripped down and peed on the floor as I’m writing… I’ll be right back.

I’m back…told you. No time.

If you wonder why this  became my “Unicorn”,  here’s your answer.  Clothes are just clothes. They keep you warm and cover up your lady bits when you need to do Adult things like grocery shop or go to work. They also have the ability to make you feel like a totally different person. Clothes can give  you confidence, comfort, and even happiness. You should wear clothes that make YOU feel good about yourself. I’m a big believer in stepping  outside of your comfort zone…get out of that black legging rut (we’ve all been there).  What do you have to lose? Some stranger at the mall says you look ridiculous in your Daisy leggings? What do they know. Maybe you’re the trend setter… I mean, Rihanna stopped wearing pants and 90% of the people at her concert last weekend didn’t have pants on. #truestory

Be like Rihanna…except wear pants. Please, wear pants.

Anyways, back to the Turdma. I desperately wanted the Turdma for 3 reasons. Number one: The Pinecones looked like poo and that made me smile so hard that I knew this was a must have. Number Two: I wanted to show everyone to NEVER judge a Irma by her print. Dare to be different.  Number Three: If you are confident, that will shine through. I promise no one will have the cojones to say you look ridiculous. If someone does say you look ridiculous, throat punch them. #justkidding #forrealthough

Here are a few ways I turned this top from a fashion no-no to a do-do! 😉

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Irma as a Skirt with a comfy Tank!

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“Boyfriend” make everything look good. These are from Express.

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Knot your Irma if you are intimidated by all the extra fabric 😉

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Yup. You can also wear it as a dress!!! WHAT!?! I know. Insanity!

This top made me laugh & step outside of my comfort zone. My Husband had the best reaction probably. I pulled it out and was like “Baaaaabe, it’s here!!”.  He takes one look at it and says, “What’s so bad about that? It’s blue and brown”. Such a dude! I loved his response because it goes it to show you other people don’t always see what you see. You may not feel confident, but someone who walks past you might wish they could wear what you’re wearing. Maybe you will give them the confidence they need when they see you sporting those Big Foot leggings. I’m happy my Hubby liked it, but if he didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. I would still be rocking the sh** out of my new top! Pun intended.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I also want to give a shout out to the Consultant that fulfilled my ISO. You rock, girlfriend!!! Here is the conversation that transpired between the two of us…  

“The Tudma has SOLD. I repeat, the Turdma has SOLD”.  I found out through a member of my group that we both posted the below at the same time in our own group… #stilllaughing

Lesson Learned: Do YOU my friend. Do you. Oh, and if you’re having trouble finding your DISO, just get desperate and write a blog post about it.

Happy Strolling!

How To videos below! Watch at your own risk. I have no video skills or filter on this mouth.

Irma as Dress Tutorial (I use the term tutorial loosely here): Click HERE

Irma Knotted Tutorial: Click HERE

Unicorn = Hard to find print that may or  not exist or a print that you are desperately searching for. I’m not sure how that makes it a Unicorn but we’ll just go with it.

Big Foot Leggings: Leggings that have Big Foot on them. I thought this one was pretty self-explanatory but you never know.

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LÍLLÉbaby COMPLETE – Love

 

If this was periscope (which I find totally terrifying by the way), I would be giving this carrier SO many hearts. I love the versatility, comfort, back support, and of course this ridiculously beautiful embossed coral color! Swoon.

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There are so many carriers out there to try which can be a little overwhelming. A few important features I look for in a Soft Structured Carrier are support for myself and baby, “proper” seat position for my little squish (they are big squishes now but I will just keep pretending they are still babies), and easy to strap on. I am usually wrangling one child while I’m wearing the other – it needs to be easy. I don’t have time to watch 700 YouTube videos to figure out how to carry my kid.

Here’s my honest take on the lovely LÍLLÉbaby..

Support: LÍLLÉbaby is unique in the sense that it offers lower lumbar support. If you’ve ever carried around your 22 lb child around for more than an hour, you appreciate and need this type of support. My Husband has 2 herniated discs so a carrier that offers back support is a major plus!  The COMPLETE also provides your newborn-toddler plenty of support! The adjustable neck support  is an awesome feature  (no need for an infant insert!!!) and it’s  also great for breastfeeding Moms.  Pair the adjustable neck support with the Privacy Hood and you are ready to nurse that baby while doing 700 other things at the same time. #momshavesuperpowers

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Clearly Brody is a little big and would fit better in a CarryOn. But due to the amazing support of this Carrier, I can still tote him around comfortably if needed!

Seat: The COMPLETE is ergonomic making the seating position ideal for your child’s hips. Your newborn can be placed in a Fetal position in the carrier without the need for an infant insert. One less thing to buy!! Since the seat on the LÍLLÉbaby is adjustable, your older baby/toddler can sit comfortably  facing you, facing the world, or chillin’ on your back or hip. You want their knees above their cute tush and their head close enough to kiss! Always do a fit check along with a peek inside to make sure their chin is lifted and airway is open!

If the baby doesn’t fit, then you must acquit! #ivebeenwatchingtoomuchOJvsthepeople

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User Friendly: This is a major reason selling point right here. No one has 2 hours to get your kid into a baby carrier! I don’t know about you, but I only have 2 arms and appreciate when a carrier is made for normal folk to use… you know, as opposed to an octopus who has a 6 arm advantage. The easiest way for me to place my child in the carrier is to snap the waist belt on, place baby in the carrier and pull the fabric and straps behind them and slide my arms into the padded shoulder straps. Once I adjust my kiddo a bit, I reach back and buckle the shoulder clip. This becomes easier once you’ve adjusted your straps to the right length. You can pop baby in, snap it up and go. I dare someone to re-adjust my straps after I’ve gotten them perfect. You will have hell to pay in the form of a second LÍLLÉbaby 😉

Added Features: I love pockets. Love them. I love them on dresses, diaper bags, and most importantly Carriers. The LÍLLÉbaby Complete has a long zippered pocket in addition to the easy-reach pocket for strong the hood or any Mom necessities such as binkies, your cell phone, or maybe some nursing nipple shields. Typical mom stuff. #nippleshieldswerethedeathofme

The Complete is suitable from 7lbs-45lbs which is a lot of baby wearing!! The straps are adjustable and can be worn backpack style or criss-cross for maximum comfort. I LOVE the option to criss-cross the straps in the back. It really helps you customize the carrier and get the perfect fit!

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Last but not least, this beauty is MACHINE WASHABLE. I repeat, MACHINE WASHABLE. My kids make messes out of air. Being able to toss it in the washer is like winning the lottery. Ok, maybe not the lottery….maybe more like winning the “my kids didn’t just ruin my $170 embossed carrier with Cheetos fingers” lottery. Basically the same thing.

The LÍLLÉbaby Embossed COMPLETE is $170.00 and $120.00 or the COMPLETE Original. This a very average price for Ergonomic Carriers. If your better half is like hell-to-the-no, just show them what the going rate is for a USED Wrap Conversion Soft Structured Carrier. #stoptryingtomakemoneyoffyourretailpurchase #idontcarewhatmarketvalueis

He/She will be happy to buy the COMPLETE for you. I don’t know about you, but $120 bucks is worth the extra bonding time with my baby, sweet snuggles, and keeping me hands free for some wine action. #dontjudgeme #youknowyouwearandwinetoo #helpamamaout

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For all you soon to be Mama’s out there looking into Carriers, check out the LÍLLÉbaby!! But whichever Carrier you use, I am so excited (and a little jealous) for the new memories and amazing snuggle sessions you are about to enjoy! Some of my most cherished memories from when Brody was a baby involve baby wearing. I struggled with Postpartum Anxiety and being able to have him close to me kept me calm. I felt safe and so did he. I remember in those early months as a new Mom feeling so exhausted, nervous and scared. I wasn’t confident wearing my baby and felt like I had it all wrong… but it was the only thing that all of us sane which meant I was doing something right. Looking back, I laugh at what a hot mess I was (and still am) because I was just doing what every new Mom is trying to do – survive. Nothing prepares you for Motherhood. But with some coffee, baby wearing, and patience, I promise you will rock it!!

Keep them close y’all.

 

Happy Strolling!

 

 

 

 

Mind Blown. LuLaRoe 2.0

I’m back with more LuLaRoe.  The kids were BOTH napping at the same time the other day and curiosity got the best of me. My mind was blown… #ineedtogetoutmore

Ok, prior to having kids, clothes and shoes were my jam. I LOVE CLOTHES. I am no stylist, but I love trying out new looks until I find something that clicks. These days I roughly have 11 minutes to my self each day and I try to use my time wisely. Finally drinking that up of coffee I have already microwaved three times and getting to pee alone (not overrated!). My goal is to pull it together and not look like Britney Spears circa 2007 meltdown when we leave the house. #neverforget

Whether you’re a Mom, Single, Divorced, or 65 and getting your groove back, these tips are fun and you can make them work for you! Confidence is key!!

 My mind was blown when I started trying out all the ways to style myself  so I knew I had to share. One tired, no F’s given chick to another. So… here we go. #somanyfunyonswereconsumedduringthemakingofthisblog #nochildrenwereharmed #momoftheyear

Meet Amelia. She is cute, fitted on top, flared at the waist, and oh so flattering. She also has pockets!!! Ready for the mind-blowing part? PUT IT ON BACKWARDS! All you breastfeeding Mom’s needing a dress for a wedding…here you go! Zip it down, nurse the baby, and zip it up. No one will ever know you have the dress on backwards and you can look super fab while breastfeeding on the go! #youcanthankmelater

Amelia on backwards = perfect nursing dress!

Amelia on backwards = perfect nursing dress!

It has pockets!

It has pockets!

Oh hey, Cassie! I talked about you last week and needed to try you out. Glad I did. This pencil skirt is your new best friend. Don’t be afraid to try a pencil skirt!! It’s all about how you style it. Oh, and it also doubles as a super cute tube top. Yes, honey! <— insert Nene Leakes voice right there.  Heading to a baseball game or bar-b-que? Cassie should be your go to!

Sweet, sweet, Azure. This is such a soft, comfortable skirt and I love how versatile it is. Having a baby over the summer? Get this. Super comfortable and totally C-section friendly, too!! Wear it as a skirt, dress, or top (or scarf!!). It rocks my world and will rock yours too. Plus, this is such a great skirt to have if you’re traveling at all this year. Three outfits in one. I don’t know about you, but my Husband has a heart attack when he sees how much I pack for a trip. This just saved me 3 extra outfits and the $75 over-weight limit at the airport. #winning

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Maxi Skirts are my obsession. I live in Maxi’s as soon as it hits 60 degrees. It’s  such an easy outfit that anyone can put together! Put on your maxi,  a cute tank, and sunnies. Last step is to throw that hair in a messy bun and you are out the door. I used to stay clear of Maxi’s because I’m only 5’2‘’, but I jumped on this train and I’m never looking back! Plus, this skirt also doubles as a dress  and that makes this Mama happy.

Leggings/Jeans + Classic Tee/Randy Tee – this is my uniform. I live in leggings and t-shirts. Not so much leg prisons anymore ( aka – jeans), but I still put them on occasionally.  Make these looks fun by adding a cute necklace and flats or chucks! I am so comfortable in these outfits I would swear I’m naked. Lucky for you, I’m not. Two kids back to back has the girls looking like Brody’s 3rd birthday balloon we still have from February. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about… and if you really don’t know what I’m talking about, then I’m not sure how far our friendship can go.  #justkidding #boulderholdersareyourfriend #thankskids

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Outfit Details: Top - LuLaRoe Randy Tee (XXS), Jeans - Express. Shoes - Converse.

Side note- I noticed this on the crack of my leggings today and it made me almost die. I cannot wait for someone to tell me to stick it where the sun don’t shine.

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Last but not least, your new best friend, Irma. You probably need 5 of these, like yesterday. It covers your tush, is perfect with leggings, looks insanely cute knotted with a skirt, and makes the most AMAZING sleep shirt… HA! I am not even kidding. I wear an Irma to sleep at least 3 nights a week and it glorious. Do yourself a favor and add and Irma (or 3) to your closet.

Ok, so, that’s all I got.  All of these selfies made me realize I need to turn of Harry The Bunny when the kids go down for a nap. Seriously, an hour went by the other day until I realized I was the only person awake and still watching Bubble Guppies. In my defense, it was the episode when Molly gets a baby sister and I had been secretly excited to watch it. I can’t believe I just said that out loud… #youknowyouwatchedittoo

Anyways… Hope this gives you some new ways to style your clothes and make it your own! Comfort is key. No one wants to feel like this while chasing after their kids at the park…. #sorrykim #ouch #girlfriendneedssomelulalove

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Happy Strolling!

P.S. how sick are you guys of seeing my living room in all of my selfies? I wish I was like @rachparcell but I have a better chance of being eaten by a shark. #lifegoals

P.P.S. Shop with me HERE

P.P.PS. If you are a consultant and have a Turdma in XXS, hit me up!!

Stages of LuLaRoe Addiction…

 

I’m starting to think I have an addictive personality. First it was strollers followed by diaper bags. Then came Sew Sassy pants for little miss….now the addiction is for myself, and it’s called LuLaRoe. A.K.A buttery soft goodness. I guess I could be addicted to worse things so I’ll look at it as a positive… Insert my Husband rolling his eyes RIGHT HERE.

A few months back, a local LuLaRoe Consultant asked me to try out some leggings and see what I thought. I didn’t really think much of it and said sure when she asked. Obviously the first thing I did was google LuLaRoe;  My research turned up one thing: the leggings were, well, loud. I was not used to loud and was not sure how I felt about the leggings but didn’t want to make any assumptions until I got them on my body. I couldn’t find anything on their website so I figured I would just wait for my leggings to arrive and didn’t give it another thought.

Fast forward to the day my leggings arrived. Oh. My. God. are the words that came out of my mouth. In that moment, I knew I would never put on regular pants again…ever! #5weeksandgoingstrong

Welcome to the stages of a LuLaRoe Addict…

Stage 1: What is LuLaRoe? Is it Lu-La-Row? Lu-La-Roo? Why can’t I buy it on their website? This is frustrating…. but I’m in intrigued…How the heck do I buy them!??!

Stage 2: Dude. Who is going to wear leggings with Pineapples on them? Not me.  Do these come in black?

Guess what...I bought Pineapple leggings. #eatingmywords

Guess what…I bought Pineapple leggings. #eatingmywords

Stage 3: ::Mailman arrives with leggings:: These are really soft, I wonder how they fit. Probably awful. ::puts leggings on::  Woah, woah, woah!!!! These are the most amazing leggings to ever touch my body! How are they one size!?! What kind of sorcery is this??

Stage 4: Buy all the leggings.

Stage 5: Who is Irma? Everyone keeps talking about how Irma is their BFF. I need to meet her…

Stage 6: Oh heeeey, Irma. You are two sizes too big. Probably should have listened to everyone telling me to SIZE DOWN. But you are cute…I think I need more of you, and maybe your little friend Cassie too…

Stage 7: Join 450 Shopping groups and the LuLaRoe BST pages and make your mail carrier wish he/she had a different  route…. (the moment you hit “join” is where it all goes down hill… in a really good, expensive way).

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Actual Screen Shot from my phone. I’ll just let you guys think this is all of the groups I’m in… #ineedtochargemyphonebeforethenextpopup

 

Stage 8: What’s a Unicorn? I don’t see a Unicorn on that floral dress? What are these women talking about. Let me do a little research…

Stage 9: HELP ME FIND MY UNICORN!!!!

Stage 10: Find said Unicorn and refuse to pay $150 for it.

Stage 11: Pay $150 for your Unicorn.

Stage 12 a: Learn what pattern mixing is and make it your b****.

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Yep. I am wearing floral leggings and an arrow print Irma… And no, I don’t care if you think it matches or not.

Stage 12 b: Put on your favorite Pineapple leggings and striped Irma you thought were so ridiculous 4 weeks earlier and walk into Target like you’re Bey at the Grammy’s. #whoruntheworld

Stage 13: Sign on to be a LuLaRoe Consultant so your Husband can’t distinguish what’s yours and what’s inventory. #truestory #justkiddingbabe #noimnot

 

Ok, ok, ok. All joking aside, LuLaRoe is AMAZING. It’s so much more than just clothing. The support the women give each other in the groups is off the chain!! There is no body shaming, no worry about size, no judgment because your DISO is the Turdma. We are all there because we love the way we feel in LuLaRoe. I’m in hundreds of groups on Facebook ranging from Mommy/Baby to Garage Sale groups and I can honestly say the LuLaRoe pages are filled with positivity ( Ok, like 90% of the time it’s positive…until Consultants change their group setting and everyone get PISSED) and encouragement to be yourself. I love that. Rock on ladies!! Do you.

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Happy Strolling!

P.S.

DISO = Desperately In Search Of.

Turdma = Irma that looks like it has turds on it.

That is all.

Wait! if you ever want to shop with my addicted self once I make it through the LONG list of Consultants to be, CLICK HERE! 🙂 XOXOX

Ok, that is all. For real this time.